August recap: Be kind

An unfortunate bite, annual goal progress, and 8 interesting links

Sep 11, 2025

This recap is later than usual because, one, I have been busy preparing for Booplet’s launch (more on this in the next section) and, two, a mosquito bit my son.

What about a mosquito bite?

Unfortunately, the mosquito bit my son’s face near his eye, and his eye became so swollen that he couldn’t open it. We went to the A&E, and he recovered after a week. But a little incident during that period reminded me about being kind.

I was carrying my son along the pavement when we walked past three high school boys. One of them saw my son’s face and gave a shocked expression. After they passed us, I turned back and saw them looking at my son and whispering among themselves. I couldn’t hear what they said but I didn’t get a good feeling from their facial expressions. I doubt they had any ill intentions toward a tiny two-year-old but what the receiving party feels usually matters more than what we say, do, or mean.

The incident was a good reminder to look within myself because I know if I were in high school, I would likely have said something I shouldn’t have. I remember when my friends made nasty comments about others, I would laugh along and not stop them. I likely made a few too. I only became more sensitive, empathetic, and aware in my 20s. And even then, the fact that I suspected what the high school boys were saying means I have work to do. I was projecting, imagining what I might have done in their place, and holding it against them.

Also, how can I teach my son to be kind? I believe modeling the right behaviors and explaining why being kind matters will help. That said, I can create a conducive environment but I cannot force him. Even though I had a great upbringing, it took me more than two decades to mature.

And the world might not always be kind to him. Even when we have been teaching him to share his toys, others have refused to share theirs and have sometimes snatched his toys. How should he react? What would he learn from such experiences? How would these moments influence his character? This might seem like a trivial example but even adults go through similar scenarios later in life.

Ultimately, it’s up to him to decide. Many years back, when I was at Buffer, we did a personality test. People were split on the question “Would you rather be smart or kind?” My approach is to be kind until I have a good reason not to, because I don’t want to be taken advantage of. But I still lean more towards being kind (and trying to raise a kind human being) because things have gone well for me, all things considered, and I should help create a kinder world. Others have been kind to me, too, and I want to pay it forward where I can.

I know sharing this would not even make the world budge a bit. But it’s something I wish someone had taught me earlier. If you want to make my day, go do a kind deed today. You will make their day, too. A two-for-one deal!

How am I doing for my 2025 goals

August was quite a struggle but lightened by several happy moments and meaningful milestones.

Business: Build a meaningful profitable business

We launched Booplet (beta)!

(We technically launched it on 4 September but for this recap, I’ll consider it “last month”.)

With Booplet, we want to enable everyone to make their own apps. You don’t need to learn coding or figure out the technical setup; just describe what you want, get the apps, and use them immediately. You can easily create custom apps for your work, your life, and your hobbies. It’s like your personal app library.

Give it a try, and let me know what you think. It’s entirely free during the beta.

Also, follow us on your favorite platform (Threads, X, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube), and support us!

Family: Bring my family on a vacation ✅

We went to Perth in March.

Parenting: Read at least 3 books on parenting

I completed Good Inside in April, picked up Totto-Chan in August, and have been reading The Daily Dad and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read.

Here’s my favorite entry from The Daily Dad for August:

August 6
Seldom Should Be Heard a Discouraging Word
If you’re not paying attention, it’s easy to slip into a kind of casual, thoughtless negativity: Why is your room so dirty? Why are you in such a bad mood today? Hey, stop doing that! Don’t touch this. No, you can’t watch TV right now. Why isn’t your room clean? No, you can’t have that. I’m disappointed with how you did on this test. This is just not realistic; shouldn’t you think about trying something else? I don’t think so. You already know the answer… and the answer is “no.”
This happens not because you’re a bad parent but rather because you’re a good one. You have rules and you enforce them. You have expectations and you push your kids to meet them. You know what’s best. You want to keep them safe and you have a house to run.
But still, if you’re not careful, it can come to be that almost every interaction you have with your kids is negative. It can start to feel, from their perspective, like an endless cascade of disappointment. And then, before you know it, you’ve become the voice of discouragement without even thinking about it.
Is that who you are? Is that the kind of relationship you have to have? If it isn’t, then you need to pay attention. Watch your words, Count your yeses and nos. Be intentional about what you focus on. Let the little things go. Be positive.

There’s a stereotype that Asian parents are always disappointed, even with our best achievements. While Asians tend to have higher expectations and the stereotype is a funny thing to say, I don’t think it’s helpful to make our kids feel they are never enough (or for us to feel that our parents are never proud of us; I’m grateful that I can immediately think of several occasions when I felt my parents’ genuine pride in me).

Growth: Write daily, publish monthly

I continued to journal every night (634-day streak) but only published my July recap in July (a total of 49 essays in 2025 so far). I had wanted to write more but I allocated more time to working on Booplet. Since we just launched Booplet, I want to continue devoting more time to it until I feel like I’m in a good rhythm.

As part of continuous improvement, I switched from Apple Notes to Obsidian and started taking notes more diligently (even if I might never refer to them again). I was initially hesitant to use Obsidian because I didn't want to have to pay for being able to use it across my devices. But I realized it works with iCloud Drive, which I already have.

I also picked up A Different Kind of Power and Michael Jordan: The Life to read.

Health: Eat healthily, exercise 5x/week, sleep well

I had a terrible cough for about two weeks, which was bad enough for me to stop exercising for several days. Other than that, I felt pretty okay for the rest of the month.

We ate out quite a bit, and the food wasn’t the healthiest. SK has been buying frozen meals from Yummy Bros and recommended it. I’ll try it in September.

On several nights, I could have slept early but ended up watching YouTube for half an hour or an hour before sleeping because I wanted to relax for a while after my son went to bed. I don't really like this habit. (I’m happy to share that since writing this reflection, I became much more conscious about watching YouTube and managed to cut back on it!)

My remaining goals

One-year goals (i.e. other 2025 goals)

Help my son develop a night routine and be in bed by 8 p.m. - He has been sleeping close to 10 p.m., and I honestly don’t know how to bring it earlier. Because he is older and more independent now, I can’t force him to shift his night route earlier. Advice welcome!
Take three deep breaths whenever I’m angry or frustrated - I lost my temper once and later worked to mend the relationship.
Accompany my parents and uncle to their health appointments - Still four appointments so far but my uncle fell, hit his head, and was warded for a while. I worry this will become more frequent as he gets older.
Cycle 10x a year - Still 5/10. I didn’t cycle in August because I didn’t feel like it. I might not cycle for the rest of the year.
Switch from kopi (coffee) to kopi siew dai (coffee less sweet) - I mostly drank iced latte and had more cups of kopi siew dai in August than in the previous months. I’ve started to miss kopi; argh!
Host five dinners at home - Still 1/5 for now.
Get a part-time cleaner for our house - I think we are still doing okay.
No coffee after 3 p.m. - Missed a few days but they weren’t long after 3 p.m.

Five-year goals

Bring my family to Europe and New Zealand
Create a library at home for my son - I turned our unused TV console into a mini-library for now.
Teach my son to cycle and swim - He is back enjoying swimming; we even went to the pool more than once a week.
Learn to play the piano - My dad salvaged an old piano from the rubbish dump. I might ask for it! Any tips on getting started?
Complete a triathlon (any distance)

Lifetime goals

Publish a book
Get back into drawing
Complete an Ironman triathlon
Bring my son somewhere to see snow (maybe Japan, Seoul, or Switzerland)
Raise kids with integrity, compassion, and agency
Build something with my dad
Have a workbench for playing with hardware
Visit Ghibli Park in Aichi, Japan, and Ghibli Museum in Tokyo, Japan
Mentor someone
Volunteer somewhere (maybe contribute to healthcare or education)
Contribute somehow to Singapore (maybe through my business) - My MRT status tracker is technically a contribution, given that some people in Singapore found it useful.
Become rich enough to be independent, not to acquire material possessions
Live until 100 while being physically fit and mentally sharp
Use social media to help others, not just consume content
Learn to speak another language (maybe Japanese)
Run a sustainable bookstore with a cafe with my wife

Letters To Alfred

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