Looking for the Alfred of 2018
I was enjoying my work so much that I thought I'd be doing it forever. I fell out of it and have been feeling lost for seven years—until recently...
“What would you do if you had millions of dollars and did not have to work?”
My manager at Buffer asked me this question during a one-on-one many years ago. I said I’d still do the things I was doing, which was writing long-form guides on social media marketing. It wasn’t because I was answering my manager. I was genuinely enjoying my work. I felt in the zone for months. I was eager to ideate, research, and write, and I was also proud to share my articles. I scheduled my day around my work so that I could do what I loved and do it well.
While it wasn’t smooth sailing right from the start, my articles gradually performed better. Soon, I had articles with 100,000s of page views. People shared and discussed my articles on social media. We experimented with new content strategies such as topic clusters before they became popular. I gave talks and spoke on panels. People were asking me for advice. Me?!
But after those few months, and maybe up to a year, I fell out of it.
I lost interest in what I thought I’d love to do forever. I dreaded writing those social media articles1, I felt reluctant to share my own work, and I even didn’t want to think of myself as a marketer.
It has been about seven years now.
But I recently felt a flicker of that old feeling, when I was helping to develop Stores, our open-source Python library for agent tooling.
Now, I’m on a quest to understand how to get back to that state. To find what I enjoy.
Growth
I had the sudden realization that I was enjoying my work when I was discussing some technical topics with my cofounder SK a few weeks back. It wasn’t anything deeply technical but having such a discussion was something I couldn’t do just a few months back. After years of learning to code, I finally felt “technical”. While I used to feel like I was just running on the spot and learning the basics over and over again, I began to feel I was making progress, however slowly, especially with the help of AI tools. I felt unstuck.
This was the same when I was at Buffer. I used to be afraid of writing. But gradually I felt like a writer. I could sense that I was writing better, and the page views and shares confirmed it. I wanted to keep doing what I was doing because I was constantly learning new things and producing good work. That’s how I want to live my life.
Results
Of course, I’d be lying if I said results didn’t matter. There is a positive feedback loop. Each time my article did well, I became more encouraged and less stressed. I could relax, come up with interesting ideas, and write better. Those subsequent articles generally did better. This helped me enjoy my work even more. If there hadn’t even been an inkling of positive results, I’m not sure I could have lasted long enough to enjoy the work. And as a founder now, if we aren’t making enough money to even survive (the most important result), I doubt I can truly enjoy my work.
But results alone, while necessary, aren’t sufficient. Even when my TikTok videos for Pebblely were going viral, I just couldn’t get myself to like creating TikTok videos, especially as someone who has been intentionally avoiding such social media content.
Interest and mastery
This will sound contradictory to my last sentence but I truly believe in the value of social media in connecting people and helping small businesses (though I’m now more wary of the negative effects it can have on people). I created a Facebook Page for my parents’ small business in 2013. I applied to Buffer (a social media management software startup) three times until I got a job there and stayed for six years. I was interested in everything that was happening in the space and stayed near the frontier: new social media platforms (Snapchat, Periscope, etc.), new features and content formats (groups, live videos, stories, etc.), announcements from major social media companies, and so on. Admittedly, it also helped that social media was the biggest thing back then.
The same is happening with AI now. Thanks to AI, I got back my curiosity, learned to write better, became comfortable with technical topics, and more. SK and I have been investing our lives in building AI products since 2022. In case it’s not obvious, I love AI. Needless to say, it is the biggest thing right now.
But while I have the interest, I’m nowhere near mastery. To be honest, I struggle to even keep up with the developments, let alone try to be near the frontier. That said, I’m not dreaming of being a leading AI researcher. I’m more interested in helping more people benefit from AI through better design and education. Even though we have been building AI products for three years, I have barely scratched the surface and still have a lot to do here.
Support and community
At Buffer, I had my manager, Kevan, and my teammate Ash. They guided me, gave me feedback, and supported me. There was also an amazing community on Twitter that I regularly interacted with and learned from. I could tweet a question and have fruitful discussions with people I have never met and might never meet. That said, I previously had the Buffer brand behind me, which probably made more people want to interact with me than if I weren’t there.
Now, I have SK, who has been teaching me and sparring with me for the past few years. Several friends, such as Rishabh and Medha (cofounders of Defog), have also been great supporters since we started Dashibase in 2022. Twitter has not been as fun as before, though. I often feel that I’m just tweeting into the void, probably because I haven’t had much interesting things to say for a while. I’d love to find ways to create the same supportive environment as before. Let’s connect if you are into the things I mentioned above! For now, I just started experimenting with using ChatGPT Plus as an assistant/coach, inspired by this tweet.
This essay was originally supposed to be about how I finally fell back in love with my work. But after a few weeks since I started the draft, I’m not so sure I’m still feeling it.
To be frank, I have been feeling a little empty after we launched Stores. We are still adding to it and exploring new AI ideas but the flicker seems to be just that— a flicker.
But that’s okay. Even a huge fire starts with a spark. Now that I have finally experienced the joy again, however little, I feel confident I can find my best self again. I hope you will too.
Warmly,
Alfred
Even if I didn’t lose interest then, I probably would have now, given how many of my articles can be generated with AI nowadays. It’s a good thing I moved on earlier.