January 2025: Heads I win, tail I win too
How to make the most of whatever situation we are in, annual goal progress, and 16 interesting links
Hello there!
Quick administrative note:
93% of you subscribed to my newsletter before I started my Substack last September. You probably signed up for my marketing content, which I was sharing many years ago. You might have noticed that I’m writing a lot less about marketing and more about AI, my life, and being a dad. Initially, I was worried that you would hate the new content and unsubscribed. But after reading this note, I decided it was more important to lean into what interests me now and use my writing to find like-minded folks.
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If you wish to stay, welcome! Letters to Alfred are essays to myself as I figure things out one by one. I write about my experiences as a founder dad and share my lessons in technology, AI, startups, behavioral science, and design.
Warmly,
Alfred
I’m writing this while tucked under a blanket on my sofa. January in Singapore was exceptionally wet and cold, a welcoming reprieve from the heat and humidity of our little tropical island. But as I learned from my three-year stay in the UK, I prefer our rainforest climate.
Why am I telling you this? Because my biggest lesson for January was to make the most of whatever situation I’m in. Or as I like to call it “heads I win, tails I win too”. Heads I bask in the summer heat and drink a cup of iced latte. Tails I get to put on my favorite Studio Ghibli sweater and savor the chill.
For the first two weeks of 2025, my son consistently slept from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. I would get up at 6 a.m., do a workout, read a page of The Daily Dad, have my oatmeal with blueberries, and read more or write. It was a great morning routine that set me up for the day. After he woke up, I would spend about half an hour with him before sending him to school. Then suddenly, he started waking up at 6 a.m. On some days, 5:30 a.m. Initially, I was annoyed because my mornings felt ruined. I had to face the day without getting ready. Eventually, I realized feeling obligated to stick to a rigid routine actually made me feel worse than not having a routine, so I embraced the messy mornings. I would bring him out for a walk for an hour or so, sometimes hop on a train because he loves it, and send him to school a little earlier than usual so that I could squeeze in a shorter workout. Heads I get to go through my morning routine, tails I get to spend more time with my son.
Here’s another example: After our son goes to sleep, my wife and I get a little couple’s time. We would enjoy a mini-hotpot, watch Netflix, or simply chat. But as an emergency doctor, my wife has to work at least six night shifts every month. On those evenings, I work a little extra, coding, writing, or reading. If I have done enough, I reward myself with movie snippets or anime on YouTube. Heads I get to spend time with my wife, tails I get a little more done.
When things don’t turn out the way we want and we have no control over them, I believe it’s possible to reframe the situation to embrace or even enjoy it. Heads I win, tails I win too.
How am I doing for my 2025 goals
Pretty well! Sticking to New Year's resolutions is probably the easiest in January. Regardless, I’m glad to start the year on a good note.
Build a meaningful profitable business
SK and I launched our health insurance AI assistant to help fellow Singaporeans with MediShield Life and Integrated Shield Plans. I also published two essays on health insurance, The Health Insurance Paradox and My Health Insurance. The reception was rather flat, so we are not planning to invest more effort in this app.
We spent some time in January building an AI assistant that we plan to use internally. We might have more to share in March or April! To learn about the technology behind AI agents, I have also been writing about AI agents and building a basic AI assistant. Enabling AI to complete complex tasks for us seems like a great next step for AI, and we want to see how we can accelerate that.
Bring my family on a vacation
We have booked our flights and accommodations!
Read at least 3 books on parenting
I have been reading The Daily Dad (the premium leatherbound edition from my wife) every morning. The theme for January is teaching by example. Each entry has been a helpful reminder to be not just a good dad but also a good person.
The book started the year with my favorite poem:
In 1939, nine years before John Wooden would be hired to coach the UCLA men’s basketball team, a friend sent him a picture with a poem on it to celebrate the birth of Wooden’s first child the picture is a man on a beach whose son is running behind him, playing in his footsteps in the sand. Wooden hung the picture in his home so he might see it every day. The poem, which he memorized and liked to give as a gift, went as follows:
A careful man I want to be—
a little fellow follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
For fear he’ll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape his eyes.
Whatever he sees me do he tries.
Like me he says he’s going to be—
that little chap who follows me…You don’t have to memorize these words as Wooden did, but you better internalize their message. Your children follow behind you. They see everything you do. If you go astray, so too will they.
I have also been reading Good Inside and The Sovereign Child. Interestingly, a lot of parenting advice I have been reading (such as helping my son develop resilience) also applies to me as an individual.
Write daily, publish monthly
I kept up with my journaling habit (422 days as of 31 January 2025) and have been writing more creatively than before. Because I tried to be more ambitious and attempted new interesting things, such as building an AI assistant and implementing retrieval-augmented generation (RAG), my journal entries also became more interesting.
I also published 10 essays, nine more than I had planned. Perhaps it was the start of a new year, I have been inspired to write more and leaned into it. Without social media apps on my phone, I found myself thinking about ideas more often even when I was not working. Whenever a thought struck me, I quickly jotted it in my Apple Notes. Then when my son slept, I turned it into a draft.
I realized my writing skills are limited in a way that having an entire month to polish a draft won’t make it significantly better. I need to write more, experiment with something different each time, and try to make every essay better than the one before.
Eat healthily, exercise 5x/week, sleep well
I’m well on track with my health goals: 15 home-cooked dinners, 24 workouts, and waking up at 6 a.m. almost every day. More importantly, I felt more awake and energetic in January than most of 2024. I still had to drag myself out of bed in the morning but it became easier. I still needed coffee but less regularly. I suspect part of the energy also comes from working on and struggling with hard projects I’m interested in.
My remaining goals
One-year goals (i.e. other 2025 goals)
Help my son develop a night routine and be in bed by 8 p.m. - He has switched to one nap recently and goes to bed around 8 p.m. Let’s hope this keeps up.
Take three deep breaths whenever I’m angry or frustrated - I used this several times but I realized I’d need several hours to get over the emotions.
Accompany my parents and uncle to their health appointments - Two so far.
Cycle 10x a year
Switch from kopi (coffee) to kopi siew dai (coffee less sweet) - I switched to latte, which has no sugar.
Host five dinners at home
Get a part-time cleaner for our house - We decided to step up our cleaning ourselves for now.
No coffee after 3 p.m. - Yep.
Five-year goals
Bring my family to Europe and New Zealand
Create a library at home for my son - I turned our unused TV console into a mini-library for now.
Teach my son to cycle and swim - He loves going to play in the pool now.
Learn to play the piano
Complete a triathlon (any distance)
Lifetime goals
Publish a book
Get back into drawing
Complete an Ironman triathlon
Bring my son somewhere to see snow (maybe Japan, Seoul, or Switzerland)
Raise kids with integrity, compassion, and agency
Build something with my dad
Visit Ghibli Park in Aichi, Japan, and Ghibli Museum in Tokyo, Japan
Mentor someone
Volunteer somewhere (maybe contribute to healthcare or education)
Contribute somehow to Singapore (maybe through my business)
Become rich enough to be independent, not to acquire material possessions
Live until 100 while being physically fit and mentally sharp
Use social media to help others, not just consume content
Learn to speak another language (maybe Japanese)
Links
[AI] I started a new series sharing my AI notes! Issues 1, 2, 3, 3A 4, and 5.
[Growth] Do What Makes The Best Story
[Growth] My Lifetime Reading Plan
[Growth] Measuring personal growth
[Growth] How To Understand Things
[Writing] A blog post is a very long and complex search query to find fascinating people and make them route interesting stuff to your inbox (Escaping Flatland is an amazing rabbit hole I fell into recently.)
[Parenting] In defense of screen time
The term “screen time” is so broad as to be meaningless, clumping together many disparate activities. A child sitting next to a parent playing a math game together on the computer is screen time. Calling your grandparents on skype is screen time. Collaboratively composing music with your best friend in another country is screen time. Yet, when many people refer to screen time, they often seem to be referring to a child passively watching TV on their own (something which my husband and I almost never let our daughter do, and that she doesn’t seem interested in). With any screen-based activity, it is useful to consider:
Is it social or solitary?
Does it involve creating content or consuming content?
Is it educational or not?
[Marketing] Nike Air Max Lungs: They keep you alive
[Branding] Mandai Wildlife Reserve rebranding: I recently bought an annual pass for my family and am loving their new branding!
[Design] Flexoki 2.0
Keep it up - I’ve quite enjoyed reading your reflections on various topics