May Recap: High standards

Trying again and again to create better work, annual goal progress, and 12 interesting links

Jun 05, 2025

Years ago, a mentor said to me: “It’s your job to have the highest quality standards of anybody you work with. You’ll face pressure to lower them every day. Don’t do it. If you can set a high standard and simply maintain it, you’ll do very well for yourself.” — David Perell

During my six years at Buffer, I almost always felt like an impostor who wasn’t supposed to be there. Everyone seemed great at their job, and I was a fresh undergraduate at my first proper job. But I really wanted to be there; I applied three times before I got an offer. So, I worked hard.

I often reviewed and edited my messages three times or more before publishing in Slack or our company forums to make sure I was communicating well. I reviewed and polished my work probably 10 times more. It wasn’t only that my manager was (and still is) someone I look up to, and I wanted to meet his standards. Buffer was a startup many looked up to, and everyone in the team seemed to be at the top of their game. I wanted to be in the same league.

Working that way might sound excessive, unnecessary, and terrible. But that was when I did some of my best work and learned to communicate well. When I moved to ReferralCandy, an engineer I don’t work with directly told me he appreciated how I communicated with my team on Slack.

I wanted to quote from Brie Wolfson’s What I Miss About Working at Stripe, which is about how hard they worked and pushed one another at Stripe. But unless you read the entire essay, you might dismiss it as workaholism or hustle porn. So, read it. Then, come back.

One thing I love about working with my cofounder SK is that he has much higher standards than I do and isn’t shy to enforce them.

When I started writing more code and submitting pull requests, he would sit me down for two to three hours to go through my code, tell me what was terrible, and explain better solutions. He still looks through every line of my code (even when the app or website is working as expected) and finds ways to write them better—and then educates me. I’m grateful for this because I don’t know what I don’t know; I might never learn if he doesn’t point out my mistakes.

We just launched Dewlop, an AI assistant for mindless office admin work. In the last few weeks, I did about 30 iterations of the website. Even when I felt I had made a huge improvement in the design, he would push me to explore how I could make it even better. Of course, it’s partially because I’m not a great designer (yet). But it’s also because we don’t want to settle without trying hard enough.

To be frank, it is tough. And exhausting. It takes time and effort to develop the taste to assess quality. I’m constantly comparing myself to the high standards and wondering why I’m not better. Sometimes I doubt myself so much and lose motivation for a while. But without the high standards, I’d most likely never improve and do great work. So, I learned to keep showing up and make a little progress every day. I might never reach the standards because I’ll probably raise them as I go. But I think it’s this endless pursuit of improvement that leads us to our best selves.

Warmly

How am I doing for my 2025 goals

May was a relatively busy month, compared to the other months before, as we geared up to launch Dewlop (more below).

I cut back on reading, exercise, and sleep, so that I could work more and still spend time with my family. But May was an exception.

Build a meaningful profitable business

After six months of building various AI agents and pivoting, we finally landed on something we are excited about.

Dewlop is an AI assistant for mindless, soul-sucking office work. Fixing inconsistent fonts, updating dates across multiple files, checking calculations in Word documents. The things you really don’t want to do but have to.

This is also in line with how we think about AI. We should use AI to do the things we don’t want to so that we can focus on the things we love to do. Also, it’s a product that most of our family and friends can understand and use.

Dewlop is currently in beta, and we are looking for 5-10 dedicated beta testers. If you are interested in helping shape the product, please fill out the form. I’d also love to jump on a call to learn about your workflows if you are up for it.

Bring my family on a vacation ✅

We went to Perth in March.

Read at least 3 books on parenting

I completed Good Inside in April and have been mostly reading The Daily Dad in May. I only skimmed a few pages of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read.

My favorite entry from The Daily Dad:

May 6
Teach Them to Sweep the Sheds
The New Zealand All Blacks are the most successful rugby franchise of all time. They have a legacy that rivals the great teams in nearly every other sport, from the San Antonio Spurs to the New England Patriots to the U.S. women’s national soccer team. How have they done this?
By being tough, of course. By being extremely talented, obviously. But there is a lesser-known and counterintuitive element to their success as well: they clean up after themselves. In his book, Legacy, Kames Kerr portrays the team tidying up the locker room after a game:
Sweeping the sheds.
Doing it properly.
So no one else has to.
Because no one looks after the All Blacks.
The All Blacks look after themselves
If you want your kids to clean up after themselves, you have to teach them why it matters. If you want them to look after themselves, you have to teach them to find pride and satisfaction in that. If you want them to sweep the sheds, you have to teach them it isn’t just a chore. It’s a statement of priority. A statement of character and commitment and self-sufficiency—an illustration of who you are.
How we do anything is how we do everything is the lesson parents have to pass along to their kids. Leaving a mess isn’t just a mess—it shows that you’re a mess.

Write daily, publish monthly

I had written 542 journal entries at the end of May. Several entries were quick scribbles of what happened during the day because it was late by the time I stopped working for the day.

I published nine essays in May (a total of 43 as of May). They were all short essays of about 500 words because I didn’t allocate much time to writing in May but I still wanted to publish. My favorite piece is 3 years of starting up, a quick reflection of my startup journey so far.

Eat healthily, exercise 5x/week, sleep well

I felt better in May than in April and thankfully didn’t fall sick. But I was still tired most days. I was sleeping much less, which I want to change in June. Food and exercise remained roughly the same; I ate a little less healthily and skipped a few workouts when I worked late the night before.

What I’m glad about is that there were several days when I woke up feeling energized just by thinking about the work I was about to do (which is precious!).

My remaining goals

One-year goals (i.e. other 2025 goals)

Help my son develop a night routine and be in bed by 8 p.m. - He has been going to bed later, at around 9 p.m. We haven’t been that disciplined with following a night routine because sometimes he would ask for a night walk and we would bring him out.
Take three deep breaths whenever I’m angry or frustrated - I don’t remember being angry but I felt rather anxious a few times, which I think was mostly because I hadn’t slept well.
Accompany my parents and uncle to their health appointments - Three so far. My uncle, who cannot understand English, saw a doctor who could only speak English. Thankfully, his daughter and I were there. This made me wonder how often this happens in health appointments and critical information is miscommunicated.
Cycle 10x a year - I cycle once in May. 4/10 now.
Switch from kopi (coffee) to kopi siew dai (coffee less sweet) - I had many kopi siew dai and teh siew dai and almost an iced latte every day. I’m okay with my caffeine intake but I need to reduce my sugar intake through coffee.
Host five dinners at home - Still 1/5 for now.
Get a part-time cleaner for our house - I think we are still doing okay.
No coffee after 3 p.m. - Yep.

Five-year goals

Bring my family to Europe and New Zealand
Create a library at home for my son - I turned our unused TV console into a mini-library for now.
Teach my son to cycle and swim - He is becoming even more comfortable in the pool. If he slips and falls, he knows how to stand up and wipe his face.
Learn to play the piano
Complete a triathlon (any distance)

Lifetime goals

Publish a book
Get back into drawing
Complete an Ironman triathlon
Bring my son somewhere to see snow (maybe Japan, Seoul, or Switzerland)
Raise kids with integrity, compassion, and agency
Build something with my dad
Have a workbench for playing with hardware
Visit Ghibli Park in Aichi, Japan, and Ghibli Museum in Tokyo, Japan
Mentor someone
Volunteer somewhere (maybe contribute to healthcare or education)
Contribute somehow to Singapore (maybe through my business)
Become rich enough to be independent, not to acquire material possessions
Live until 100 while being physically fit and mentally sharp
Use social media to help others, not just consume content
Learn to speak another language (maybe Japanese)

Letters To Alfred

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